I don’t think anyone quite knows exactly what I feel inside, I tend to keep it all in pretend my life is perfect. It’s far from it though J well it all started when my birthmother found out she was pregnant :S although my dad was over the moon let’s just say that I was defiantly not planned. I will give my father credit though he did pray that I was retarded so that he could have me all to himself and my mother wouldn’t want me…… well what a disappointment I have no disabilities (THAT I KNOW OF ;) ) well it worked  anyway because, well I don’t know the full story but from what I know, my mother traded me for the car and the furniture to give full rights away :S GEE THANKS it wasn’t even a good car but anyway at least then I didn’t have to put up with two alcoholic parents who would run out of money even if they had an endless supply……….

Well I was blessed with an amazing step mother….. she met my dad and they broke up 8 times (WHOOP WHOOP DON’T YOU JUST LOVE BEING A CHILD GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE YEA TIMES THAT BY 8) for different reasons. My dad’s a bit of a jerk and seems to think that rules don’t apply to him …… so he cheated for like halve of them, the latest one I found out he only got back together with my mum (STEP- MUM but I will refer to her as mum because she is all I have even known) because he needed money and my step mum has always been …. Well…… rich

Even through all the break ups I have always stayed with my step mum. I don’t remember this but apparently when we were living in my step mums house my mum and dad broke up, dad came rushing to me and said were leaving to which I replied “no dad I’m staying with mum”

I do remember one time my dad left, mum came into my room because I heard the screaming and shouting, she was saying something along the line of ‘it’s okay he is just being a jerk’ or something (Never try and get your child on your side in a fight, leave them out of it.) my dad then came to the window and yelled

 “STOP TALKING CRAP TO MY DAUGHTER AND GIVE ME MY KEYS” then went speeding down the driveway (we lived on 6 and a 1/2 acres, so the drive way was long) all I remember is crying a lot because I was worried about  my dad going that speed that he would get hurt. I wasn’t crying because they broke up I could honestly care less.

I never care when they break up. I could not be happier in fact I loved having split parents (apart from what they say about each other too me) 2 houses, 2 rooms, 2 laptops, double the toys, only need permission from one! Haha

One of the worst things is what they say about each other it’s like each one likes to see the other suffer. L this got really bad when my mum lost her job….. it was during the last time they broke up, the one where dad only got back because of the money…. well mums always been a really high up business women she was the C.E.O and had turned that company around from almost crashing to a thriving company the only problem was the man who was head of the board of directors was being really shitty to her because she was a women L

Mum quit her job thinking we would be ok and she would get a new one but then again there are not any high up jobs around. Dad and mum broke up during this time; I can’t really remember much I think my brain refuses to remember this time in my life……. It was my first year of middle school, my friends were being horrible that most days I cried, I had an exchange student that bullied me and my best friend chose this convenient time to ditch me YAY GREAT TIMING!!! :S on top of all of this I had my dad trying to move out with inefficient funds because he spent it all at the pub  (you know how I was bless with an alcoholic father and all) and my mum saying we were gonna loose the house (if you read this and take just one thing in its that PLEASE, PLEASE never tell your kids you are going to loose the house and say how bad things are PLEASE JUST LIE TO THEM TELL THEM ITS GONNA BE OKAY I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH YOU ARE PANICKING!!!!!! I was told we might loose the house and being a child I could do nothing about it…. I think that’s why I developed OCD I would freak out if one thing was out of place, I think it was me trying to get a grip on my rapid spiralling life. It got better though before we could loose the house mum became one of those people in the super markets who give you samples and try and sell you stuff. It was minimum wage but it put food on the table. I don’t know if it was because I have always been a rich snob of a kid (– I will admit that) that this time was so hard or because of everything thing happening at once or both. But either way it got better…

mums friend was looking for a project manager at a major mining company  and suggested her for the job. The job was hugely paid and would be even better than the C.E.O but even better than this two nights before mum got the call to say she got the job. She had a date with a guy she met online (- haha I guess online dating does work) and one year later they are still together and everyone can see how much he loves her and I have never really seen anyone love somebody enough to fight for and he does! I used to believe thanks to my dad side of the family who can never be married before they have kids or stay married! And to my mum and dads breakup routine or to all the things I see about breakups on TV that nobody can want to be around somebody their whole life but now I think I am slowly believing ….

It’s a year later now, I spend my days traveling the world, eating out, washing mums bfs Ferrari – (haha had to add that in there) and in the process of buying my own house at age 15! But most I’m looking back on every mistake I have even seen anybody make and making dam sure I don’t make those same mistakes.

Although there is always gonna be some hardship in your life like my dad’s mental breakdown over Christmas where he was crying all the time because his girlfriend broke up with him and I had to spend both Christmas and new year’s with an anxiety stican, crying middle aged, DRUNK man. Just to have him get back together with the bitch who cheated on him……. But at least now he goes to her with his problems and stops treating me like his councillor. Or when your friends don’t invite you somewhere or tell you SECRETS or lie to you I’m not gonna lie that kills me as much as my parents splitting.

But all in all I have always loved life and considered myself the luckiest person on earth. Don’t ask me why but boy I wouldn’t trade my life for nothing or nobody……… So don’t worry things do get better <3 just wait a while and you will see